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Posts Tagged ‘beautiful’

Beautiful in its time

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Well, lingering mind…aaaah, can not pour out so many things on my head at one time…these days too many wonderful things happened to me unexpectedly…I am the happiest creature in my room, hahahaha! Well, simply put, I finally got myself back after several confusing days for something that I do not think I would get the answer. I simply now accept that with joyful heart, because that is the only part of mine. Telling the truth, I feel like I am going to stop thinking. I can not control my own thought, it feels like my thought is not part of me, but it is another person….For nights I could not sleep because my mind is still awake in the deep of nights and so I recall everything I dislike and rethink of things I would rather forget. Those were so horrible nights.

Just to remind me of the time when everything is beautiful, blossoming flowers in its time…This thought would replace all the must-forget thoughts. Beautiful in its time, what a very encouraging and awesome phrase I have heard thousand times, but I just found the deeper meaning quite recently. I love this phrase ever since I heard it for the first time…I could say I let my tears down for hearing the same phrase over and over again. Realizing how many times even a day I could feel my spirit down, craving for encouragement from others, yet no one seems able to do that. No one seems to understand me. Then, this verse comes to me….everything will be beautiful in its time. Well, it is so simple and true. It brings me back to the source of life. So, it is not one who is mortal whom I should depend on, finally I thought. It is God whom I shall put all my praise into that I shall depend on.

It took me days and maybe years to understand to the heart for that simple truth! Yet God is trully working in mysterious ways, hmm. He enjoys surprises and smiley faces when his children found the treasures he meant to discover. No doubt that his treasures have eternal value and so worthed more than anything, so it is necessary for every believer to hunt for it instead of putting all the efforts on temporary and valueless treasures.

Looking through a mirror

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Been three working days I spent at home. Unproductive. Currently I do not go to Lab at all. Nothing seems to move me out of my room. I also do not feel urgency to do something at my desk station. Perhaps the notion of examination aftermath is occupying.

I just spent my days on searching for lost and unfinished telenovela (“corazon salvaje”, meaning wild heart) and long time but still on-going manga (skip beat) and the anime (skip beat), and watching anime of “yamato nadeshiko shichi henge”. I like the story of a girl fighting to be grown-up through many struggling about faith and love and their existence.

The leading actor of the telenovela died of heart attack at age 41. This was surprising. The story of “corazon salvaje” is simply romantic with the setting of Caribbean during the aristocratic period, my favorite setting. Woman in long and beautiful gown with all the accessories just like in fairy world. The characters of both antagonist and protagonist were so strong and so romantic about love-bound, forgiving, and status upgrade in society. Well, I did not just enjoy the story because of the romantic reason of the leading actor, but also because of the faith of the leading actress in the story. I found similar story in firelight, starring sophie marceau, whose acting is a mother who is love-bound to her child and the child’s father. She was a surrogate mother from a real relationship though. Apart from the cliche love story of a beautiful woman and an abandoned child, the whole story supports the pure motive of love and that it has reward in the end. One character can hold underneath anger and dissapointment, yet as soon as he recognized, he was able to recover and get his life back. One point to ponder is there is almost no one has  pure motive since people are changeable, but faith can overcome along with hope and love. I do not say this is recommendable drama. It is just one of dramas that I extract the good points.

Skip beat also offers similar story of how a teenager fights for her life back after being dumped by her boyfriend. The story about controlling anger and the way to overcome those anger seem so realistic even though the media is just 2 dimensional. The character of the young lady is passionate yet also sometimes low-spirited. The manga told the detail flow of how she overcomes her weaknesses and using her experiences to help her gaining her confidence. She is working as an actress and she started from the scratch, yet her job is only fitting her character, lovable and caring person, sensitive to matters, and passionate. Somehow I can put myself in her situation, despite of mere imagination, her character is real sometimes in me. Then, I can learn how to bring myself into good motivation.

Another on-going drama is Yamato nadeshiko shichi henge, telling us a story of a teenager girl who has low confidence of herself from being traumatic and so having acute social phobia. Somehow she has many strong points despite of her weaknesses. She once was told ugly by irresponsible person, feeling hurt and unable to see her own face somehow I can portray her character in myself as a journey of being a lady. There are times when I refuse to see my own image through the mirror, because I just see only the uglyness, even though nobody insulted me of being ugly, yet like Sunako, the main character, I refuse to recognize the beautiful me. But when other people see it, they may help me to grow and strengthen me and other people is the agent of character building.

I enjoyed all the story about girl and woman…because honestly I am in a search for my strong character and personality. I lost figure of mother because I lost confidence and disable to trust people whom I love. Yet, my mother is a very strong character and she is also a fight woman in raising her children. Thanks mom for raising us into a beautiful person that I could reach my dream of being a lady.

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