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Posts Tagged ‘beauty’

Embrace my past

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Suddenly I pictured myself when I was in a college second year. I was just moving in a bigger lodging house with about 30 lodgers in a two-story house owned by a remote island rich man whose daughter was later accepted in the same alma-mater, Dept. of Architecture & Planning, Gadjah Mada University. I just lost my money on the previous rent. I decided to move out at once because of two unbearable reasons; the mysterious pervert was seen peeping through my window around midnight, and once through the leveled wall below the ceiling inside the bathroom. Second, my room was just next to an empty land that was later constructed an additional building, and during construction the noise was bothering me. So, I decided to look for new place to stay.

I had to use up my savings for the new rent rate that was higher, so it came to me to have a side-job. I was trying to apply to McD as waitress but there was no vacation. At that time around 1996, there wasn’t much chance to do side-jobs because places like internet cafe was not booming yet, only very few and still expensive. The video and software rental was not as booming as todays. One of my friends had a side-job at a radio station. I was thinking that I was not the one who could speak so much. I would prefer to listen. Somehow I met my previous lodging owner, and she offered me to teach her children some subjects. I was glad and receiving it at once. Then I could save some money.

Second year of college I was joining the teaching assistant group for structure and construction studio, even though my grade was only A- and I know one person who always had a perfect mark for this and I admire her deep in my heart. She is so cool! Yet, she wasn’t that interested to be the teaching assistant. I, despite of my less ability, had passion to do the job! Then, when there was an opportunity to join the computer laboratory teaching assistant, I was also applying and that was my ultimate job until I was graduated and still had offering for some projects afterwards. I had chances to travel places like Palembang in Sumatra island, Bali two times, Surabaya, Malang & Jember in East Java (to note, Malang is my hometown), Makassar in South Sulawesi two times, Palu in Middle Sulawesi, and of course Jakarta, Bandung & Bogor in West Java. In some business trips, I was either sole or the leader. I really enjoyed my period of traveling in Indonesia’s cities and towns. It was unforgettable moments.

Now, I am in Japan for the second time! And this is not beyond my dreams…I have conceived these dreams long ago, and surprisingly all costs were paid in full even overflowing! What a blessings! First time in Japan was about 6 years ago, in Osaka, that gave me chances to go to Kyoto several times, Nara, and Kobe and also visited Wakayama. I also enjoyed Universal Studio in Osaka before I ended my one-year stay during which I had a chance to travel to South Korea for three weeks, to Daegu, Daejon, and Gyeongdong area where there is traditional village. I experienced the warmth of Korean people and the delicious culinary! Second time in Japan, I am now staying in Tokyo area, and had a chance to climb mount Fuji, visiting some interesting places like Yokohama Chinatown, Kobe chinatown once again, Tokyo Disney Land, and also had a cheap flight back to Indonesia during Christmas and new year, spending three days in Kuala Lumpur Chinatown.

Now that I am thinking about this….these are so marvelous experience! I also had many good companions either just strangers during travel or new friends! I never forget them! I don’t know how much I want to treasure them, yet I am lack of the ability to be extrovert! I am innately introvert…I wish to be available more to my friends. The best thing about traveling and staying abroad is I know what I am afraid is nothing more than what is in my mind.

Winter is no longer as threatening as the first time I encountered it!! I now am able to embrace the winter coldness and the beauty of nature, the freezing water…and true white snow! I understand now what the Bible says about as white as snow…there is nothing whiter than the snow. This was altering my thought and broadening my view over my own ability, so to say. The fact that there is no constraint but only the dimension of my thought.

Remembering what Einstein said that true  intelligence is not knowledge but imagination. I sense the truth here about myself. I am beyond what I could think of. I just need to go out there and feel the atmosphere. The nature is calling me out to touch it and enjoy the beauty…even the beauty of the nature of people and their built environment.

Trading soul for beauty

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The Picture of  Dorian Gray was written by Oscar Wilde, background in London 1890s, a classical story of a young man in his 20′s who was proud of his good looking and was enticed that he sold his soul for his beauty. Was it possible only in this story? Trading soul for beauty to last? The answer is possible in reality. Not only beauty, but also fame and wealth. Seems horrible, yet it is true.

Dorian Gray the movie tells a very beautiful and innocent boy of his 20′s who found himself as unforgettably beautiful as anyone might see his look. He counted it more valuable than himself, and he was pledged to remain young as in his picture, the capture of his youth beauty. He chose to follow the pleasure of youth and fell into the pit of lonesome, until he found that his youth brought him only sorrow. While other people grew old and enjoyed the golden years, Dorian stayed young and did not change at all. This remains me of how people still look for a way to stay young thru cosmetic and food…I try not to judge and do not say stay young is wrong but even getting older is a blessing. Old people is where youngsters will look upon to get wisdom and advice. Old people is where the life tells about their glory when the youth shows their strength in living a life.

The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old (Prov 20:20). Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life (Prov 16: 31)

When I watched Dorian Gray I caught some dialogues on how the character showed his emotion and desperation of not knowing what is important in his life. Dorian Gray was an easily strayed boy that he plunged into hedonism life at the first introduction. He soon became the fan of it and was unable to withdraw himself. Especially whenever he first looked at the picture of himself that was so enticing to keep looking at it.

Later when nothing was left, he blamed his friend for introducing him to the pleasure of life. He said in anger, “you made me!” What a childish and selfish attitude he had. Everyone shall take his own responsibility over his choices and his life regardless of his surroundings. That’s why it is true that…bad company corrupts good character (1 Cor 15:33).

What Dorian Gray did with his soul was warned during the Old testament, when David wrote in Psalm 24:4 about the sin Saul did. Saul was an impressive young man without equal among the Israelites–a head taller than any of the others. He became haughty and self-praising as later he chose to violate the Lord’s command by offering himself the burn offering and the fellowship offering instead of waiting for Samuel. He wanted to do great things that only Samuel could perform thru the obedience to the Lord. He was also driven by his jealousy over David, his successor. Yet Saul did not repent, he continually did evil and chose to defend his kingship even though the Lord has rejected him. He had corrupted soul, he traded his soul for his fame…and from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David (1 Sam 18:9) while David is as innocent as he who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false (Ps 24:4).

It is so delicate matter actually, to choose what our soul commit to. That’s why repeatedly the Bible mentions that we shall examine our heart and our soul. Our motivation and our thoughts. Even when we have the right motivation, we should keep examining our thoughts.

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